Are Russians Unfriendly? - A Traveler's Perspective

Most travel blogs and articles on the internet seem to paint almost all destinations with the same brush. That, in fact, all travel is beautiful, food everywhere is great and people everywhere possess a ready smile. But the fact is like many things in life, travel experiences are also subjective. If you ask me, “are people everywhere unfriendly?”, my answer would be an emphatic ‘no’. But if you ask me the opposite, I would not waste a second to give the same answer.

And it is these kind of perspectives that I would like to share on this platform, and hopefully also start a conversation. Let’s start with the international country I most recently visited, Russia(if you do not consider my trip to Sri Lanka which was purely for work). I traveled through Mother Russia, incidentally with my Mother and it was a trip like no other. Even if it wasn’t the easiest trip, it definitely was the most enriching one. Now, getting to the point, let me explain how Russians are when it comes to friendliness.

Think of Russia and the images come to many Indian minds are the bollywood models or the pretty escorts in major cities in the country. The other is the tattooed, and probably criminally inclined Russian in Goa(throw in a Royal Enfield as well to complete the picture). Some of us think of Russians as drunks who yell ‘Vodka! Vodka!’ at every given opportunity. So mostly Indians do not consider Russians as unfriendly people - and barring the mafioso association, we are pretty fond of Russians(at least I am).

Expectation:

A couple of years ago, a Russian couple Alex and Katyusha stayed with me through Airbnb. We went on to drink lots of whisky together(and not Vodka), and became great friends. In fact, meeting them again was a real motivation for the trip. Alex was hand holding me through the planning process of the trip, and at one point I was unable to book train tickets on the Russian railways official site(the cheapest tickets are available on this one), probably because the website does not accept international cards. It was Alex who then booked my tickets using his card, the cost of which ran into 30,000INR(400USD), not a small amount by any measure. This was a great friendly gesture considering my visa was not approved when he booked the tickets. I do not know many people who would pay for a friend from another country like Alex had.

And I distinctly remember writing to Alex, “if you are any indication of how friendly Russians are, then maybe you guys are the friendliest people on earth.”

But were they actually? I was about to find out.

Reality:  

The gentleman at Vnukovo airport where we landed helped us with a lot of information(in English) and I heaved a sigh of relief. Friendliness, check. English will work? Yes, I said to myself.

What followed was almost the opposite of my expectation. I smiled at people, and rarely received any smiles back. From the hotel where we stayed at to the restaurants we ate at, Russians seemed to take some time to warm up. Smiles were not so easy to come by, even in the metro people were either buried in their phones or sometimes in their books or other times in their kindles.

Every time Mom and I were stuck for directions, people almost never volunteered to help(of course there were exceptions). And I no longer expect people to speak English. But what I do expect is for people to make the effort to communicate with someone that does not speak their language. Like Colombians, Italians or even Indians will show, gestures go a long way in communicating. But more often than not, I found Russians wanting in this department. While interacting, most of them would go on a spree of Russian sentences, either not realising or not wanting to realise that I was unable to understand a single word. This was especially true of people working in commercial establishments, though you expect them to make more effort with customers. On the contrary, many times in fast food restaurants the local customers were helping us out. It was either young people who had studied abroad or others who realised that we needed help.

Also, thank god for the translator app! Without that I would have pulled my hair out.

If Moscow itself was difficult, then places like Volgograd in the South were tough as hell. Most people seemed wary of interaction. The people who were happy to talk to us were assumably immigrants from Tajikistan, Uzbekistan and other post Soviet countries.

In a few days, I began to think that Russians are racist and the indifference it had to do with my skin colour. Because for most part, Russia is overwhelmingly white. Finding a person of colour is more difficult than finding President Putin(I am joking, of course).

Are Russians racists?

Now, I will be honest. Some parts of Russia are known to be racist, and also there is always an undertone of the greatness of the Russ race(that originated in western Russia, present day Belarus and Ukraine). Caucasus parts of Russia have reported race related violence in the past. However, I am not sure if this context had anything to do with my experiences. As I closely observed Russians, I realised that their culture of interaction was very different than that of Europe or the east or even the Americas.

And that is why it almost used to come as a shock when we met super friendly Russian men every once in awhile. One of them almost forced me into accepting a few beers from him. On another instance, two Russians insisted on helping me carry my luggage to the third floor of the hotel. I took me good ten minutes to explain that the reception had allotted me a room on the ground floor. It was after a couple of such interactions that I realised that these were drunk men. And Mom and I started playing a small game whenever we met friendly(sometimes way too friendly) Russians, to check whether they were drunk or not. All of the times, there was Vodka in the air around them.

But coming back to my observations. Russians seemed pretty impartial when it came to their indifference. Even with one another, their smiles and laughter were not easily on display. It is also a joke that Russians do not know how to smile(while that is surely an exaggeration). On long distance trains too, co-passengers could go without interaction. That’s exact opposite of what happens on trains back home. But to be fair to the Russians, on Indian trains you are forced to interact even when you don’t feel like it.

I guessed that Russians probably treat their light skinned counterparts better. But here too the post-soviets proved me wrong. We met a Brazilian backpacking family while on the trip. One of the family members was Domitlia Becker, a television sports journalist on a sabbatical, and she confirmed that she had had the same experiences as I. Even Russians themselves agree that their fellow citizens cannot exactly be described as friendly. A woman who had moved out of Russia a few years ago, was on vacation back home when we met. Her son of about 5 years(who had grown up mostly in Bangkok), at least once felt that he was unwanted in the country of his birth. The reason for that was the way a shop owner had behaved with him.

But is everyone like that?

Well, of course not. It’s not like friendly people do not exist in Russia. This is a general observation and exceptions exist as usual. My friends Alex and his family and many others, left a great impression on us. And it must also be said that St. Petersburg is markedly different. Like they say, the city is more European than Russian could not be more true, even when it comes to the friendliness aspect.

The question as to why Russians are the way they are, was something I obsessed with for the entire trip. Now I cannot say that I am anywhere near to finding the answer, but yes I have a few probable factors that could be the cause of general apathy towards others amongst Russians. The guarded nature of the Soviet Union probably will stay in the societal genes for a few more decades. Also, there aren’t enough foreigners yet as the country opened only less than 30 years ago, and as foreigners trickle in things are bound to change. But honestly I do not expect Russians to be very different if I visit them again in this lifetime.

The other possible reason could be the harsh weather. Throughout the year, almost, the weather is freezing in Russia. Not the best situation for people to be happy and to socialise. I must also confess that these are just factors I have picked by reading some books, through conversations and personal experiences. They can hardly be termed as educated. Happy to get your (respectful)comments on this.

Does that I mean I hate Russia?

Definitely not. If there is one thing I do not like about the country, there are ten others that compensate for it. Neither does it mean that I suggest that we don’t travel to one of the greatest country on the planet. Quite the contrary, I think the more travelers find their way to Russia, the faster we will get to experience the friendliness of Russians.

This is 100% not a hate post, and if I could I would go back without blinking an eyelid. But I would like for others to know what is in store while they travel through the not so touristic parts of Russia.

But it is equally true that it is one of the safest countries for tourists, and that you almost never feel nervous about petty crime. So for a country known for the mafia, that itself is a great plus point. What do you think? Do share.